One day I was riding along a mountain trail on my horse.
From the other direction came a woman on her horse.
"I do believe you are the ugliest man I have ever seen," she said.
"That may be true, madam, but there's not much I can do about it," I replied.
"No, perhaps not, but you might at least stay home."
...........Lincoln was a master of self-deprecation, the art of knocking one's self down a notch or two before others do it to you first. I think about Lincoln, perhaps our greatest president, and then I contemplate the current resident of the White House who has, to my knowledge, never uttered a single self-deprecating remark in his life. It has caused me to realize, as I think about other amazing (and evil!) people in history, that self-deprecation can be a marker of greatness and the lack of it can be a marker of something far worse.
Think about it: the collection of Hitler, Stalin, and Pol Pot's self-deprecating remarks might not even consist of a single sentence. Yet one can find numerous examples of self-deprecating remarks from the John F. Kennedys and George Washingtons of the world. And this art of self-deprecation goes beyond the political realm too--for example, Einstein and Gandhi, extraordinary men, were also known for their self-deprecating tendencies. Perhaps this is another reason why Trump, a man who is self-deprecation phobic, frightens me so.
I even ponder people I have come across in my personal and professional lives and realize that those I've encountered who avoid self-deprecation entirely have often been people who have a detrimental impact on those around them. It is almost as though self-deprecation, when gentle and in proper proportion, can serve as an indicator of healthy self-analysis; perhaps self-deprecation is a sign of having come to terms with one's weaknesses and is an acknowledgement that self is not where all the answers lie. Self-deprecation is also a subtle way we gain rapport with others because it tells them that they have importance because we can recognize that our own sense of personal importance isn't always paramount.
Of course, self-deprecation isn't always a noble virtue as those who play games of cards against me might realize how it can be used as a mostly ineffective tactic to deceive one's opponent. Similarly, I can remember years ago when I ran track, telling my opponents before our races about how I could barely walk because of my sore hamstrings or painful calves. I received sinister joy in doing whatever I could to defeat these opponents and reveled from the pleasure that came from receiving comments after races like, "yeah right, sore hamstrings my ass..." But perhaps insincere efforts at self-deprecation in the heat of competition can sometimes be excused.
Despite those who occasionally misuse or overuse self-deprecation, it still remains, I think, a marker that can inform us deeply about those in power and who they are as people and how they have overcome their personal flaws. In this world of trash talking, verbal assaults, and tirades of insult heaped on others, I crave and search for those well-versed in mild self-deprecation knowing that they just might possess the human qualities and virtues of those capable of rising above the insecurities and frailties of self.
No comments:
Post a Comment