I walked down the six flight of stairs to leave my building. Yes, Babushka, our building's feeble old elevator is down again. When she'll be up and running is anyone's guess. When I finally reached the ground floor and left the building, this is the scene I encountered.
Clearly, the problem with water was a bit more severe than the usual troubles, it appeared. As I walked toward the grocery store, I encountered a co-worker who lives a block away from me. It turned out he had water, but none of it was hot. He also told me he didn't have any electricity either. We stood on the sidewalk, chatting, trying to decide which of our two situations was preferable. I voted for my situation: no water, full electricity. Finally, he agreed that my situation was better than his cold water, no electricity difficulties. After reaching our consensus we wandered off to accomplish whatever we could on this day of partials.
There's an elderly man who lives in my building. As I left my apartment this morning, he was sitting on a bench watching the two men struggling to repair our water problem. He sat quietly, intently, almost as if he were watching a baseball game. He wasn't angry at all about his lack of water; he seemed to actually enjoy the spectacle, as if observing Kyrgyz messes was a pleasant diversion, a hobby even. Who knows how much Soviet-era and post-Soviet mayhem this man has watched in his day? His serene gaze, completely devoid of anger or frustration, clued me into his general state. The elderly man was in a state of fatalistic bliss. Fatalism. It's the state of knowing there's nothing anyone can do, all that happens in the universe is inevitable, beyond the scope of our control. Once you become a fatalist, then you can sit on a bench and enjoy, whatever comes your way.
Fatalism is something most Americans can't stand. Folks in the U.S. are definitely indeterminists: they believe that people are in control of their own destinies and can shape events to create their individual fates. "If only you work hard enough, you can become whatever you want." That's why so many in the U.S. are attracted to Donald Trump. Although their confidence in the ability to control one's fate has been tested, they haven't yet reached the stage of fatalism and believe that Trump, the self-proclaimed king of shaping one's own destiny, will be able to take over America and through force of will and brilliance, change the fate of our nation for the best. I find it ironic that these Americans think that a man like Trump, who inherited his fortune and station in life (talk about fate), somehow has the knowledge and ability to positively transform the destiny of an entire nation. I do believe, however, he does possess the capacity of the self-absorbed and arrogant narcissist to destroy much of what he comes in contact with, so perhaps I haven't become a complete fatalist after all.
As I sit writing this, I hear my hot water heater churning and bubbling and making assertive noises, so I know my water is back, much more quickly than I had anticipated. And as I write, I realize I am torn: living in Kyrgyzstan has reinforced my fatalistic tendencies as sometimes living here feels like riding on a raft without oars down an angry, rushing river. Yet, I am also involved in an endeavor that is trying to transform Kyrgyzstan, and an entire region, through higher education by empowering youth to take hold of their fate and change it for the good. This is an indeterminist cause that I embrace enthusiastically. I guess, more than anything, life is a paradox, where fatalism and indeterminism both rule simultaneously, in varying degrees, depending on the day. All we can do is dig a few holes, fix what leaky pipes we can, and try our best to move forward along the path we believe is right and good.
I feel quite fatalistic in regard to this election. We've been handed bottom-of-the-barrel candidates, deaf ears (because all of them are older than shit) turned toward political will and passion belonging to the people who are going to inherit this shitstorm. grrr. arrrgh. Bring on the zombies.
ReplyDeleteYes, it is very difficult to be anything but fatalistic when it comes to the U.S. political situation, as well as about twenty dozen other things. Grrr and arrgh is about all one can say.
ReplyDelete