Antidotes

I like to eat chicken, perhaps three or four or even five times per week. When it is served to me 13 times in a given week, I have found that I begin to develop strange symptoms. Just the other day I felt the uncontrollable urge to roost on a perch up above the second-floor campus faculty terrace. And last night on YouTube I watched the movie Chicken Run about a half-dozen times.

Even worse, at breakfast this morning I felt an overwhelming urge to eat some of the dozens of kilos of the millet grain that our campus counselor left me when she moved to Khorog last summer. Without even cooking it! But the very worst symptom is the itching I have been having across my head and body. It appears, I have eaten so much chicken that I am beginning to moult.

I was thinking of visiting the doctor to deal with these frightening symptoms of what appears to be "chickenitis," an extremely rare malady one gets when living at high altitudes while simultaneously being fed a diet far too rich in poultry. But here everything seems to be treated with injections and I was not willing to face the needle today, so I had to find a different antidote.

We all know that you can find the answer to everything in Wikipedia and so I did today when I learned that creating a lavish dish you enjoy and devouring it rapidly can instantly cure the effects of chickenitis. So that is I what I did.

You can see that I created a burrito with whole grain rice, black quinoa, minced garlic (that alone cures many things), scrambled eggs with onion, yellow pepper, and smoked Spanish paprika, along with melted American cheese and hand-crafted honey chipotle sauce on top of homemade roti.

And indeed I devoured it rapidly, in all its chicken-less glory. Better yet, I seem to be cured as I don't ever want to see Chicken Run again and my itching instantly disappeared. Now that's something to crow about.